Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Love Me When I'm Gone

I know it's been over a month since I've posted and I apologize to my loyal readers who have returned week after week looking for a new post. I was without a computer for that entire time and my phone could not process my HTML uploads and don't even get me started on the ancient library computers that were still running on dial up at the town square.


Anyways I just thought I would update everyone on my crazy life- I went to Arkansas for a week about a month ago, then I came home for about three days and took a business trip to Davenport, Iowa for a new day job I started. For those nosy enough to care I'm now working as a Donor Recruiter for Mississippi Valley Regional Blood Center. It keeps me busy through the day and life keeps me busy the rest of the time.


While I was out of town for those two weeks I realized a lot about relationships that I had failed to learn years prior. My ex husband was so codependent and clingy that I couldn't go anywhere without him and if I did there would be hell to pay which usually made me turn around and cancel my plans. (But oh yes it was just fine if he went out wherever doing whatever.)


I was telling my mama about all of this the other day, I asked her if it was normal for my current relationship to feel this good, this close and this complete. I said Brandon is my best friend. She assured me that's how it should be and that I deserved the happiness I had been denied for so long. 


It was funny to watch Brandon and I's relationship grow to the next level over something as simple as voluntary separation for vacation and work related issues. 


When you are away from your significant other you learn the truth about how much not just the other but how much both of you care for one another.


We texted each other a lot more per day than usual and literally about nothing important, mostly to trade "I love you's" and "I miss you's" 20 times a day. It was annoying for outsiders but for us it was like we were grasping for each other to make sure one wasn't slipping away.

You also learn if the other takes you for granted, I didn't have time to not reach out because he took the initiative.


You will also find that Snapchat or FaceTime has become the third wheel in your relationship, and most likely one of you is going to fall asleep while on the phone talking, it's cute but comforting that you can still play "you hang up first" in your 20s.


Instantly pillows try to take the place of your partner but alas they do not snore, twitch or have nightly outbursts of indecipherable words- and you do not and will not have a decent night of rest until you return back home to sleep in your lover's arms.


You also find yourself making a million plans in your heads of all the things you guys are gonna do together when you get back home- reality check: Netflix... but that's cool too.


When you return home you find your phone full of screenshots of cutesy conversations you two had over texts or of Instagram posts of cutesy quotes that made your heart warm just thinking about them. You won't show any of them once you make it back to reality because you realized how nauseating romantic your mind was being...


When you have a bad day while out of town the best thing to do is sleep it off, because it sucks- and don't even get me started on the rain because knowing your thunder buddy is 400 miles away does not help you sleep.


While you're away time slows down to a crawl- you count the minutes to when you'll be home, because yes you yourself took for granted  even the little annoying things about them that you missed so much. 


Do you know the saying , “If you love someone, let them go and if they come back then it’s meant to be”? I think that same rule applies to this situation . When you truly love someone, you should be able to let them do whatever they need to do in order to pursue their goals and they should do the exact same thing for you, because then you can be sure you are experiencing the right type of love...

 the type that is liberating....

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