Thursday, February 2, 2017

Letter To A Diabetic's Lover

We are all imperfect people, some a little more quirkier than others, a little smarter than others, a little slower than others, a little crazier than others, a little prettier than others and some a little sicker than others.

This post today is dedicated to every diabetic's life partner. We struggle to fight an incredibly difficult battle every day, but for those of us lucky enough, we have someone who is dedicated to us through thick ,and thin-willing to stick it out through the worst of our disease.

So if you're diabetic and you have that special someone you always wanted to thank them for just being them through it all, show them this letter:

My love,
My situation in life seems to be so unfortunate at times. As you have come to know, diabetes on its best day, presents a challenge. You've watched me fail many times to handle my body and succeed many times at rubbing the disease's face in the dirt, and it is for that, that I wish to thank you.

I would like to thank you for all of the nights you stay up with me when I have high blood sugars. All the times my crazy alarms go off and wake you up but fail to wake me up, so you wake me up and save me from a climbing blood sugar. All the times you just know something isn't right about the still way I lay in the bed and you bring me juice to yet again save me, only this time from a fifty-something.

I would like to thank you for all the times you ask about my blood sugars or if I've taken insulin for the piece of candy I just popped in my mouth because, even though I make a face at you and say “Thanks Mom,” secretly I'm thankful to know you care enough to ask and offer your help in any way. All the times you ask if there is anything you can do for me. And yes even all of the times you go out of your way to bring me my favorite diet soda, Diet A&W Rootbeer to be exact.

I would like to thank you for the times you have interrupted our plans to make sure I get something to eat because you know if I'm left to my own devices I'll fall back into “normal human” mode as if I can skip meals with no consequences.

I'd also like to thank you for all the times you've served as my personal diary, remembering blood sugar numbers and taking one for the team by letting me prick your finger to make sure my meter is working correctly. Even all the times you've stopped people from buying me an extra shot at the bar or offering me an extra piece of cake at a party because, even though you know anything in moderation won't hurt, sometimes my ability to say “no” becomes awkward when its offered.

I couldn't thank you enough for the times you let me lay in your arms and cry it out. Sometimes this job of managing this disease night and day with no paid vacation and no holidays gets me overwhelmed and feeling defeated. While your words, “I would take it for you if I could,” are comforting and help ease my tears, I would never make such a trade because I love you too much. I know my mood swings are the worst to take with this disease, a 30 point change can sometimes mean the difference between depressed, crying, mad, sick, angry and happy.

I know it must really take a lot of love not to strangle me when I get a bad low and go crazy eating the rest of the Oreos or Gushers that you had hoped to eat later. And so for dealing with a food-crazed monster who suffers feeding frenzies due to lows, I'd like to thank you. I know its a scary sight waking up to a tangled hair monster with chocolate smears on its face, crumbs in the bed and the kitchen a complete wreck of spilled foos and drinks. I don't ever remember doing any of it...

Of course you know I can't pass up how thankful I am you deal with my diabetes and all of its baggage....literally. Every time we go out of town there are always two bags full of supplies and you know I love the way you help me take inventory as if I haven't double checked and rechecked again. Testers? Strips? Needles? Lancets? Cartridges? Sites? Syringes? Charging Cables? Batteries? IV Tape? INSULIN!???

Not to mention my tail end luggage that seems to follow everywhere everyday. In other words thank you for putting up with finding test strips all over the house, in the couch, in the bed, in the garage, in the yard, in my truck (a given) and crazily, even in your truck. I swear I throw them away but, my mom once had a theory going that they become charged with static electricity and stick to things if accidentally dropped. I don't know the probability of that being true but, I do know I've not lived at home with her for almost six years now and she still finds them in her house.

I also would like to thank you for something a little more blush-worthy. In the heat of a moment when you accidentally skim my IV during a glorious run around my body with your hands and you pause to say sorry- I instantly feel awkward like I'm such a freak and normal people don't have to deal with plastic tubing and electronics hanging off of other normal people. I always try to say I don't feel it even though I did feel it but sometimes my “Ow!” beats me to my words and then I feel even more awkward. But even more blush-worthier than that is the way you look at me like I don't have a scar on my body. I know you see them, but you kiss over them like they aren't there- and that will never cease to amaze me.

More than anything though, I'd like to thank you for being there for me when it seems like I don't need anyone or anything but myself and my insulin. Its not easy to love someone like me, its not easy to be around someone like me but you do it and for that I thank you.

                                                                                                                           Your Diabetic Girlfriend


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