To My Best Friend, R.I.P.

To my dedicated readers and subscribers I would like to apologize to you all for my lack of posting. I lost my best friend and it's really been hitting me hard lately. I just haven't been able to find the inspiration to write. I would also like to take this post as a chance to say thank you for all of the wonderful feedback I've been receiving in your emails. It drives me even more to know that I as one small person can inspire so many.

For today though I don't have much more to say to you all but I do have a little heartfelt poetry:

To my best friend of 11 years, who survived contracting tetanus and an attack by a rabid cougar just weeks after, who took me on many midnight rides away from trouble at home, who healed wounds in my heart left by careless men, who cherished every single laugh of mine, who caught every single tear I cried into her shoulder, who showed me how to be the best I can be but most of all, she who showed me how to love. This is for you Candy:

To hold a life, 
Its so gentle and weak. 
Pain clasping my heart in strife. 
Was that its heartbeat or mine? 

At hope it takes a try. 
The clock ticks on the wall. 
Yet it just cant fly, 
It stands up, but takes a fall. 

Alone with the bitterness, 
And fear that I’m to blame. 
Am I to blame in this? 
To others its all the same. 

But I don’t hear the words others say. 
I see what I am, 
And remember what I use to be. 
Battling a war, of what I wont let lay, 
Of only what I use to be, 
Innocent and carefree. 

I was the one taken by the hand, 
An ever so heavy load, 
To rest upon my shoulders. 
I was shown a world none could understand, 
A stolen promise that made me believe. 

I fight out of agony. 
Yet its not there to save me, 
I'm there to save it. 

What is it becoming? 
There was a time it ran wild and free, 
But instead its always stumbling, 
Making me second guess everything I see. 


Living life is always in my mind, 
God knows if I could, 
I’d hit rewind, 
And assure it, 
That yes, 
I’d never let it go. 

Here it lays in my grasp, 
I cling to it tightly, 
Not knowing how long it will last. 

Yet, now I see, 
As if the clouds are parting, 
And God descending, 
To tell me, 
It will be okay. 

With hallelujah ringing the bells in my heart, 
I hold my head high knowing, 
Nothing will drag us apart. 

A load that once weighed heavily, 
A stolen promise that made me believe. 
I was shown a world none could understand, 
And yet I was made to see, 
Because, yes, I held a life by the hand.