Saturday, April 2, 2016

You've Got Bigger Fish To Fry

None of us are perfect and from time to time we make mistakes, not big ones, not major f*** ups, just small enough to be annoying but big enough to hurt our partner's feelings. As always though, with a relationship resting on a foundation of true love, we are forgiven and we continue to thrive and grow our relationship. What about when its our partner stepping on our toes? You may say,” Now that's a whole different ball game?” But is it? Really? Think about it, do they deserve delayed forgiveness over silly mistakes? The answer is NO. If your partner readily forgives you for your many mistakes as an imperfect human, then you should readily do the same for them. True love does not grow on grudges.
That being said here are some important things to remember when your significant other steps on your toes:

Believe it or not, your partner is trying their best to be the best to you. If they've had their fair share of relationships, they were likely to be previously not the best boyfriend/girlfriend. We all learn and grow past our mistakes and past previous relationships so that we become the right person for the right relationship. Cut your partner some slack, don't be hypocritical or quick to judge, chances are you've made the same mistake in your current or a past relationship and instead of bringing it up your partner forgave you silently.

If your partner is genuinely a good mate to you, then their good qualities will outweigh whatever wrong they may have done to you. Their mistake may have caused you some annoyance maybe even a few tears if you tend to be overly sensitive towards them but you will still find yourself giving them more smiles than you do scowls.

Stupid things can happen all due to good intentions. Ask your partner why they did what they did, and you will find out the true intentions of their actions. You may have found out your girlfriend was talking to your buddies behind your back, but what you didn't know is she was planning you a surprise party. Or maybe your boyfriend ran to the store to pick up an item but got sidetracked talking to a friend and made you two late for dinner with friends. Whatever it may be, let it go, its silly, its small. Don't you have bigger fish to fry?

You may have brought this on yourself. Men and women alike get moody, blame it on lack of sleep or menstrual cycles, but both genders can be just as moody as the other. Consider how you've treated your partner the past few days. Have you had trouble at work? Have you not been feeling well? Is something really bothering your subconscious? If the answer is yes to any of those, chances are you have been taking that out on your partner, not intentionally of course, because we never intend to hurt each other, it just happens. Perhaps you have been short tempered with your partner in return your change in attitude has them just as upset as you because they have no idea what they have done to cause you any distress and so on... Do you see the snowball effect? Talk it out, and both of you apologize if necessary.

If its a small mistake, it doesn't deserve a breakup, if he or she didn't lie, cheat or steal. Then listen to Mother Mary's words of wisdom and “let it be.” You don't have to give your partner the silent treatment for their mistakes, be mad at them, but don't drag it out, you can't move forward if you don't forgive and forget. And you haven't forgiven if you throw it up in their face every time you fight.

If your partner is a good person and is generally interested in your welfare emotionally and physically they will find a way to right their wrong. Whether it be a “sorry” coming from a man or woman, it goes a long way. For a person to admit they have done wrong to someone they love very much and then to muster up the courage to say sorry for that wrong out loud, it takes love. So take their apology and move on. Heat up that fryer because you've still got bigger fish.

Your partner's mistakes have nothing to do with you and they may not even be mistakes at all, you may just be impatient. I myself have been guilty of mistaking people for being mad at me because it takes them an hour to reply to a text message, when in reality, they just got busy. So be patient. Maybe your girlfriend was late getting home and you guys had to cancel plans, but what you don't know is perhaps she stopped at her mother's grave. You never know what the other person is dealing with inside or what demons they wrestle on a daily basis. In a close relationship you will generally confide and talk with the other, but there are some things that just don't come out until push comes to shove.

When your partner makes a mistake, chances are they are less likely to mess up in the same way or in any further severity in the future. When you love someone, you don't enjoy hurting them or causing them any mental distress. Let your partner know you're upset and why and then allow them to explain themselves and offer an apology. Just like you can tell the difference in a genuine apology your partner can tell the difference in genuine forgiveness. Let it go, you've still got way bigger fish to fry.

Thank y'all for reading Straight Southern today!

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