Friday, October 23, 2015

What It Means To Be A Ghost Girl (or Boy)

  There have been a lot of stories circulating in social media about people parking in handicap spaces when they don't have a disability or even a placard or license plate that allows them to park there. There have also been stories of people appearing to not have a disability but having a placard to park, but being discriminated against because nothing appears to be wrong with them.
  In fact one story in Minnesota caught my eye, about a woman's daughter that had a severe case of scoliosis, however because of treatment and surgery she stood upright and "appeared" to walk normally. They returned from shopping to find a nasty note keyed on their vehicle that said," You should be ashamed of yourselves using a handicap space. You are fine and able to walk. Stop being lazy and leave the spaces for people with wheelchairs."
  Reading that absolutely made me cringe, the girls mother spoke out about how her daughter is plagued with several "ghost diseases" as doctors have labeled them. Diseases that wreck havoc on the body and make it a daily struggle to do everyday things.
  Reading about that story got me to thinking, I can't even count on both hands the rude comments and looks I've gotten for using a handicap space despite having a placard.
  If you are a "ghost" (as I like to call myself and my fellow chronically ill humans) you understand the struggle of people attempting to call you out on being lazy when they have no idea.
Many people have told me that I look fine; silly thing is didn't their parents ever teach them to look beneath a persons skin so to speak!?
  Being a "ghost girl" is not easy. I'm not going to sit here and complain about my illnesses but I am going to bring attention to the ignorant people that think they know who deserves what.
  Stop judging everyone by their outward appearances, you and I have no idea what each person is going through. This doesn't just stop at diseases it goes into home life, job and finances. Don't always assume a person has the best and takes advantage to get the rest.
  That being said, my beloved mother suffers from a wretched disease called Chiari Malformation that causes the brain tissue to extend into the spinal canal causing painful, debilitating headaches. The treatment for this chronic illness is brain surgery which requires removing the upper vertebrae and or receiving shots in the back of the neck in the extended brain tissue. It is not an easy disease to deal with. Anyone that looks at my beautiful mother would never guess she was a "ghost girl." Mom this is for you:

"Battles of War"

Winning the battle,
Is only half the war.
Over every inch of ground I place my foot upon,
Lays a sharp rock waiting to pierce my skin.
But taking a fall I will refuse,
And trudge on leaving crimson footprints.
Behind my brave stare,
There will always be that glimmer of pain,
Shattered crystals that fall from my face,
Will be the vainest embarrassment ever to plague me.
Surviving the battle,
Only leaves me searching.
When the rain just won't stop falling,
Serenity I will find,
In wishing for sunshine.
After all is said and done,
I'll keep feeling this physical pain.
While my heart collapses,
As the vacuum of despair sucks out,
My last bit of hope.
Surviving one or many battles will never matter,
Because there will always be left a war to fight.
Some things I'll never have the motivation to stop fighting for,
And that is what makes me a warrior.
Chiari may hold the chains to Hades,
But I hold the keys.

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