Saturday, February 24, 2018

Power Is Intoxicating

So first off I'd like to start off by apologizing for my lack of posts in the last two months. Many of you received a mass email stating that I was starting nursing school in regards to becoming a nurse practitioner and that I would do my best to keep up with demands. While I have kept my promise to continue to respond to emails I have slacked severely on my posts, for this I deeply apologize. There is not a day that goes by that I do not dwell on the inspiration that my growing fans have brought me, and in this leads me to my first blog of the year: Power is Intoxicating.

As a growing individual in my early twenties, I have discovered that I have very much to learn. As a doctor of philosophy, knowledge of knowledge is an often key aspect of my life, I yearn to never stop learning. I know that knowledge will not make me perfect, intelligent or even literate, but I know that it holds a power that few aim to possess anymore in this world.

Ever since I was a young child, I have been obsessed with comic books, specifically Marvel and DC. The wildly unimaginable stories of heroism and unexplained power always fascinated me. I use to dream of being bitten by a radioactive spider and having the power to swing to wherever I wanted, to climb any height I wanted without worry of falling to my death.

 I would lay in my room at night looking out of my window at glowing stars, imaging I was Superman(girl) and that I could fly as free as any bird that lived without restraint. To be able to fly through the morning fog and dipping my hand in the water of a pond at dawn was the highlight of my imagination.

Tying a blanket around my neck and wielding a plastic light saber, I felt that I was one with the "force" that I could move and manipulate as the earth saw fit within me. Silly, silly dreams that faded with age. But seeking power never left me.

Perhaps that is what Adolf Hitler was seeking as a young child, unimaginable power. I'm currently developing a thesis as I am pursuing another doctorates, this time in Applied Sciences of Nursing. My thesis focuses on the power of healthcare professionals. In it I often wonder aloud if I and any other healthcare professional that seeks the ungodly power to save lives is comparable to Hitler.

Hitler sought to make the ultimate human race, to control every country, to eradicate races and cultures he did not agree with. I asked myself, do I seek such an ungodly power? Of course, the answer is, no.

The power I seek, is a godly one, perhaps that does not make it anymore righteous than Hitler's mission for power. Rather, the power I seek, is out of fascination and appreciation.

Many of us will never know what it feels like to hold another life by the hand as it leaves this world. Many of us will never know the feeling that overwhelms you as you see a newborn child suck in its first breath of life after birth. And sadly many of us will never know the awe-inspiring feeling of restarting a heart that refused to beat.

This is the power I seek. I seek the power of life. All of us seek this same power, many in different ways. Some seek it through electricity, many lineman play roulette with Hades as they seek to control and manipulate a power much greater than them.

We all seek power of some sort. Just one taste is all it takes to intoxicate you. That is where I find myself. Saving lives has become the most important thing in my life. Some may think it is a selfish motive, that I seek to save lives for praise, for recognition or maybe even for money.

However, after hours of reading page after page of my grandfather, Dr. Doyle J. Brewer's medical school journals c.1940-1944 , I realized that life is so incredibly unique. In a world where we can do anything at the tip of our fingertips on a device the size of a checkbook, there is yet so much we do not know and understand about life.

"Life is a gift of power," wrote Dr. Brewer c. 1943.

That statement moved me, but I did not fully understand it until I moved into my first semester of clinicals. You may not understand it now, but someday, someone or something will happen in your life that will humble you in the midst of life itself.

We all posses the power of life, but so little of us wield it with honor. I found that lacking fulfillment in life came from lacking of the power of life. My advice to those of you lacking fulfillment, find the power of life in yourself, use it for the greater good, use it to empower those around you, use it to provide a service to society and if you are like me, use it to save lives.

Power is intoxicating, for some it brings their downfall but for others it makes a positive impact on generations to come. If you choose to drink from the power of life, what will you use it for?
                                                 Image result for it's a beautiful day to save lives

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