Thursday, July 13, 2017

How to Love An Emotionally Scarred Girl

If you clicked on this blog post then you know the type of girl I am talking about. Maybe you are that girl or maybe you are the person trying to love that girl. 

Loving someone who is insecure and scared you are going to leave is not easy. Many times the person trying to love her feels like they are paying for past heartbreaks. It is true, you are, that is why you have so much more to prove to her.

Loving and leaving is an all too familiar feeling to this girl. Her past causes her insecurities to sometimes get the best of her. It's not that she can't move on from the past, but she has deep scars in her emotions to remind her where to never tread again.

The insecure voices in her head from these scars convince her to act and think in ways that are not in her personality. These voices are the same ones to tell her she isn't good enough to be with you, that one day you will wake up and realize you can do better than her.

These scars and voices come from repetitive unfortunate events. To her, every time something in her life is looking up and she is becoming happy, it always comes crashing down. When things are great for her they always end up worse than where they started. She feels like when the going gets good its bound to end. It's your job to show her it doesn't have to end.

This girl is terrified of the feeling of being left, she knows the ugly truth of breakups, it haunts her dreams at night. Because you are not like everyone in her past who has loved and left her she fears you leaving even more, because she feels a deeper connection to you. Somewhere deep inside she knows you won't leave her but the voices inside will make her doubt that for a long time. She knows that if you ever left, she would never be the same. She would eventually pick herself back up and move on, but even then she would have another nasty scar to carry beside the rest.

If you truly love this girl, then the best thing you can do is to love her with all that you are.

Show her love in a way that silences the insecure voices. Don't question her why she has the insecurities, you why they are there, just accept that they are there and love her until she makes them disappear herself. She will say and do many things she doesn't mean, simply out of fear. But so will you. Forgive. Forget. Love like no other.

Show her love in a way that makes this girl know without a doubt that she is enough for you and what she means to you. You will know if you are doing this right because your relationship will blossom and she will begin to reflect true confidence in you, herself and life in general.

Show her love in a way that will give her comfort. Things go wrong in life, that's part of the game, many things we cannot control. But show her you aren't just there for the good times, but the bad times too.

Show her love in a way that let's her know you are there when she needs you. You have to be the person she trusts and can count on to listen to her thoughts. She knows you will not always understand but just listening and being the voice of reason is enough.

If you really love this girl you can do everything mentioned above without trying...Love takes effort at times, but if you have to force yourself to be what she needs, then you do not love her in the way she needs. You have to be different from the others. The ones who tried and failed her, the ones who couldn't appreciate everything she is, the ones who try to love her only to leave her and the ones who wouldn't show her the love she deserves.

When you're loving this girl right, she'll know the only place you plan to be, is by her side.

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