Friday, August 12, 2016

Second Time Around

The first time I stepped foot in Yellowstone National Park, I ran as fast as I could ahead of my parents to the nearest boardwalk and began exploring on my own. What an exciting place, so full of nature and wildly dangerous bubbling pots of mud and serene pools of water.

As a young child it didn't matter that there were signs posted everywhere about staying on the boardwalks and no running or that I would be burned to death if I became a little too curious and accidentally fell in. Nope, no reservation, no fear, I hit the ground running and ignored the signs.

In a similar way, you don't think about yourself and how delicate you are, which leads you to giving your heart into the hands of someone who will set it on the floor and crush it like an empty beer can and hand it back to you as if they were giving you back a dirty, handkerchief they borrowed from you.

But this post is not about my previous statement, there is way too much junk that circulates on the internet about “first loves” and “first heartbreaks.” What there isn't enough of, are articles, posts and experiences of the beautiful truth of falling in love the second time.

When you fall the second time, its like returning to Yellowstone as an adult after hearing a few horrific stories of people falling in cauldrons and burning to death.. You stand there taking a good look at all of the graphic stick person signs and deciding to maybe just sit it out and eat at the Yogi Bear ice cream stand and realizing why your parents were so mad at you for running ahead.

Similarly there is no spontaneous adventure of falling in love, but rather a slow tip-toeing process that makes you question everything. Sure the signs say it may be unsafe only if you step off the boardwalk or if you run around like a lunatic, but what if someone bumps into you and knocks you off.....haha.... no thanks...

(I love Yellowstone – these signs would never actually keep me from going, just a metaphor here LOL.)

You worry about every single aspect of falling for the second time because you don't want to pour salt into your already opening wounds. The first time around you were to high off of living on love to realize you were being burned, the second time, you have way more reservations, maybe too many.

With your second time around in the emotion we call “love”, you don't take it for granted, you know that at it anytime it can be taken from you. That is what makes second loves incredibly beautiful. Second loves come with the realization that you are always going to be okay, even after you thought you would never move on, when here you are moving on.

I had a major choice to make when I meet a blue-eyed, man with a love for deer hunting like my love for duck hunting. I could run right in and make all of the same mistakes or I could approach this relationship in a different way. Now don't underestimate me, I was standing at the boardwalk entrance, straining to look beyond the entrance at all of the enticing scenery, but there was something different this time. I didn't feel a rush, I didn't feel pressured and I didn't feel desperate, all of the feelings that come with wanting one person so badly but knowing its not going to work out. Simply put, I took it step by step and held onto the damn hand rails and walked across with the mentality, “Push comes to shove, you're going over into the abyss buddy not me!!!!” (LMAO, okay that was a little out there.)

Second love gives us the realization that holding onto ourselves is more important than holding onto someone else. It makes us realize that you are IT, you are all you will ever need, a significant other is simply an addition that adds to the beautification of yours and their self identity.

Did I fall in love the second time around? Yes. I've learned so many lessons from it. You have to push out negative feelings of the past, you have to be open minded, the relationship is only limited by the limits you place on it. For example saying you two can't go eat Chinese together ever because that's what you and your first love did all the time is ridiculous, and I'm sorry to say, but you have not moved on, go back to the drawing board.

While relationships take effort, they should feel effortless. And sure there will always be times to fight and disagree, but you have a choice in reaction, you are not young and naive anymore, you know what type of reaction causes what kind of outcome. The choice is all yours, you don't have a choice when you fall in love with someone the second time (because chances are you aren't looking to fall), but you do have a choice as to how it plays out. Obey the signs and use common sense. No one is telling you to run, so walk. No one is telling you to be afraid, so be brave. No one is telling you what you must do, so try it out.

The undeniable feelings that comes with falling the second time is knowing you aren't pressured to feel anything but you feel everything while dancing closely in the arms of you lover quietly singing along to each other the lyrics of “Simple Man”. Knowing that you aren't rushed to have it all, when it all comes rushing in while the two of you sit quietly in the deer blind watching everything not about and about each other. And knowing that you aren't desperate for love, but love desperately finds you in the electricity you feel every time their hand touches yours.


I just wanted to say “thank you” to all of my readers today. I was feeling a bit sappy when I wrote this. As you know 99 percent of my posts come from my life experiences, which I believe is why my writing has carried across the nation, we as humans seek similarities between us as instinct, its nice to have someone to relate to.

Anyways, y'all let me know what ya think and what you would like for me to write about next. Thanks again and as always keep it Straight Southern! xoxoxoxoxo


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