Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Curse Of The Babyface

There are those of us who look to be our age, those of us that look a few years beyond and the small group of us that have a forever baby face. I have a baby face.

Having a baby face brings many dating propositions from younger men/women and draws many more eye rolls out of you to the point you start to wonder if your mama saying, “You keep doing that, your eyes will stick in the back of your head,” will come true or not.

When you're younger its cute, its not really noticeable, maybe a little, but when you get older is when it really comes into play. The mature thing to do is to learn to laugh it off, in other words learn to laugh at the fact your face resembles a smooth baby's ass and you just totally got carded for going to watch a rate R movie, Deadpool to be exact.

For women, having a baby face is so much harder to contend with. A man that looks young for his age is a blessing too, but a woman who looks young for her age, a definite blessing in disguise (though when it will stop hiding I'm not sure) its hard for us because despite trying to dress our age we just end up looking like a 13 year old Instagram hipster. At that point it becomes very tempting to use makeup to make ourselves look older; however, only so much can be done with what God gave you....

All of us with a baby face know that look the bouncer or bartender gives you with squinted eyes, as they are trying to decide if you just gave them a fake ID or not. You also know the anxiety that follows after giving the bartender your idea, there's always that rush that makes your heart pound hoping they don't think its a fake and cut it up in front of you and call the police. While police can verify the whole potential to go through the ordeal is terrifying.

Those with a baby face tend to feel insecure in their workplace for the simple fact, you know that most people don't take you serious upon first impression of your outward appearance. You'd be surprised how fast people are quick to judge you based on your appearance until you open your mouth and they realize they are actually not as intelligent as they thought themselves.

Babyfacers (I know its not a word), as ironic as it seems tend to be the ones with the oldest souls, I'm, not sure if it influences our personalities to become mature beyond our years or simply, God figured such an old soul needs a young body.... I pick B.

Men babyfacers often grow out their stubble and it works quite well in their attempts to appear their age, lucky bastards. Sometimes I wish I could grow a beard just to stop all of the “Oh my god, your 21? Your so young and pretty, I would've thought you were 18.” Um, gee thanks? Am I suppose to not be young and pretty at 21?

Of course there is always the usual, “Oh you will age well, if you look this young now.” I've heard this repeatedly from family, friends and strangers every time I have a birthday. What's funny is I know it's true.

A few days ago I found some pictures of my mother, grandmother, father and grandfathers when they were younger. My mother looked like she was about 23 when she was 16 and hasn't changed since, no one would ever guess she's headed towards 40 (sorry mom if you're reading this, I didn't give an exact age).
My currently 79 year old grandmother (Nanny as I call her), people often think she is in her early to mid 60s. Not to mention the picture I found of her in her 40s when my father was around 8 to 10 years old, she looked like a 20 something model, with a body to kill for and beautiful skin. She still has that same skin, with very few facial wrinkles.

My father, for a known fact had a babyface until he was about 35, to me personally, anyways. My dad always looked about 19 to me, now he just looks like a mature attractive 35 year old man, not even close to his real age.

As for my two grandfathers (both deceased), while they didn't exactly have a baby face they sort of just aged to a certain point and stopped aging kind of like Morgan Freeman, LOL.

One of my little brother's has a babyface who looks my age simply because he's tall and my other little brother looks my age because he doesn't have a baby face and is ridiculously tall. (Don't kid yourself when I say little. I stand at 5'7, the first is almost 6 if not already over it and I know for sure the second is a couple inches of 6 ft.)

In other words, you know you have a baby face when your little brother who is 6 to 7 years younger than you gets mistaken as your boyfriend. (Loud sigh and dramatic eyeroll!)

All babyfacers have been guilty of taking advantage of there looks at one point in time or another. Whether it be to get that student discount at the game or a child's plate price at a restaurant. Which is why babyfacers turn out to be pretty ornery. Hey, God dealt us a hand of cards, it's not our fault we learned how to play them better than you. (Sarcastic smirk).

Babyfacers are automatically deemed “cute” and “adorable” with those little round cheeks and big shiny baby eyes and most likely a reasonably petite frame. Honestly during the week for work you settle for it but make not mistake, when the weekend hits, you make it a point to be hot and sexy and look your age....attempt to anyways.... Here's a secret: get rid of your bangs!!!!!!

What's really creepy about being a babyfacer is when you know usually guys your age get turned off because they think you're not at least 18, but suddenly a man in his late 20s to early 30s finds you attractive.... Yeah I had that experience, and after a few weeks it sunk in, kinda creeped me out..... I'm not trying to have a sugar daddy now. Boys if you want a cougar that's up to you.

The real struggle of having a babyface is when you get carded for buying a freaking pocket knife of box of matches at the store....Like legit, seriously? Whatever. Enjoy the look of shock on the cashier's face, when they card you and you use the same knife to break into their house and the same matches to light it on fire.... I mean no, no, of course not, don't think that, that's awful... Hand him the ID and go with happy thoughts of a pyromaniac, I mean the adult you are....

Someone telling a babyfacer how “cute” they are when they get mad is just asking for a death sentence. We aren't cute damnit, take us serious, we are angry!!!!!! (Yelling angrily but rolling into cute bubbly laughter.) Damnit! You're so cute and adorable you can't even take yourself serious when you're mad, I mean just look at that cute little poochy bottom lip.

My poor boyfriend says he's never been carded as much as he has until he met me.... He can have a full beard (he's 24) but they assume he's an early bloomer 18 year old and card him too. Good lord.... Even if the waiter doesn't question his age, they will question mine and will card me too, I guess they are afraid he's trying to sneak me a drink even when all I ordered was water!

Being a babyfacer also gives you the mentality of a rebel....Oh yeah, you think I'm so cute and adorable? Let me show you how cute, adorable and smart I really am... Its secretly our favorite thing about interacting with people, is showing people what a total hardass you are. (eye roll). Just be yourself though, if you're a hardass then be one, if you're mature for your age then be it, if you're cute then be cute, if you're sweet then be sweet, if you're an asshole then be an asshole, if you're a rebel then be a rebel. Your face doesn't determine who you are on the inside, and that's what people really want to see......

Besides look on the bright side, some lucky guy (or girl) will marry your ass one day and will still have a hot wife (or husband) when he's (or she's) 50 and you're over here looking like a bangin-ass 30 year old at 50. Cheers!

WHAT"S THE DAMN DIFFERENCE??? (Proof of Curse of the babyface)

16 years old
18 years old

20 years old

Shortly after 21st birthday

Taken last week

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